Last summer, a little television show premiered on Lifetime Television, and along with the "tribe" in the first episode, a phenomenon was born. If you didn't tune in, weren't married to or dating the military at the time, or weren't logged into any of the myriad of online communities devoted to military "spouses," you might not have noticed. But as someone who was glued to the television -- half out of curiosity and half out of a search for further insight into my own life as the new girl on post -- and someone who did happen to be logged into the online military world, I noticed. Suddenly, there seemed to be a movement of new girlfriends and wives touting the show as the equivalent of the Bible in the world of the Army wife and an even greater backlash of more seasoned wives turning up their noses to point out inaccuracies and claim they were offended by the stereotypes portrayed in the show. Last Sunday, Lifetime started re-showing the first season of "Army Wives." I watched -- this time, drawing on another year of experience -- and my opinion remains the same. It's television, and while parts of it may ring true in Army life, the last time I checked, no one was stalking me with a camera, scripting my words, or constantly touching up my hair & makeup. My job isn't to portray an Army Wife. My job is to be an Army Wife.
The life of an Army wife is, in this day of repeated and extended deployments, often romanticized -- particularly in the media. Nearly every day, I encounter someone who has a skewed perception of the reality I live every day. Some are only mildly off-base, seeming to think the world gives me special privileges because I've survived the hardship of living 7000 miles away from my husband and worrying about his safety in a war zone for months at a time. Others are more off-base, thinking I live in this dual reality of being both single (the stereotypical cheating wife) and married (the stereotypical wife who doesn't have to work because the Department of Defense pays her way through her husband). And still others seem to be seeking the life of an Army wife because, even through deployments, they think it's something straight out of "Pearl Harbor." For the record, they don't, I don't, and it isn't.
I often wonder what members of the Church of Claudia Joy would think if they followed me around for a month. They would probably be appalled. I've never thrown or attended a tea, never meddled in the affairs of my husband's promotion (beyond asking a friend's husband to take pictures of my husband's pinning during deployment), and never asked a medical receptionist to work me in at the post hospital. And while I do tend to neglect my oven when my husband isn't home, I don't recall ever being the target of the post rumor mill, carrying someone else's babies to pay my husband's debts, fetching my drunk husband after he passed out in the back of a local bar, stripping in the bathroom at a military function, or skipping out on a social event to deliver a near-stranger's babies. (And I don't know anyone who has done any of these things either.) Compared to all that, my life is boring. Yes, I shop for most of my groceries at the commissary. Yes, I sometimes speak in acronyms. Yes, I know what it's like to watch my husband walk out our door for over a year. Yes, daily conversational topics for me include current events, TriCare, deployments, R&R dates, homecomings, FRG events, and other military anomalies. But overall, my life is just like that of any other housewife/student in the country. Television may make my life look extraordinary, but to me, it's just my life.
The life of an Army wife is, in this day of repeated and extended deployments, often romanticized -- particularly in the media. Nearly every day, I encounter someone who has a skewed perception of the reality I live every day. Some are only mildly off-base, seeming to think the world gives me special privileges because I've survived the hardship of living 7000 miles away from my husband and worrying about his safety in a war zone for months at a time. Others are more off-base, thinking I live in this dual reality of being both single (the stereotypical cheating wife) and married (the stereotypical wife who doesn't have to work because the Department of Defense pays her way through her husband). And still others seem to be seeking the life of an Army wife because, even through deployments, they think it's something straight out of "Pearl Harbor." For the record, they don't, I don't, and it isn't.
I often wonder what members of the Church of Claudia Joy would think if they followed me around for a month. They would probably be appalled. I've never thrown or attended a tea, never meddled in the affairs of my husband's promotion (beyond asking a friend's husband to take pictures of my husband's pinning during deployment), and never asked a medical receptionist to work me in at the post hospital. And while I do tend to neglect my oven when my husband isn't home, I don't recall ever being the target of the post rumor mill, carrying someone else's babies to pay my husband's debts, fetching my drunk husband after he passed out in the back of a local bar, stripping in the bathroom at a military function, or skipping out on a social event to deliver a near-stranger's babies. (And I don't know anyone who has done any of these things either.) Compared to all that, my life is boring. Yes, I shop for most of my groceries at the commissary. Yes, I sometimes speak in acronyms. Yes, I know what it's like to watch my husband walk out our door for over a year. Yes, daily conversational topics for me include current events, TriCare, deployments, R&R dates, homecomings, FRG events, and other military anomalies. But overall, my life is just like that of any other housewife/student in the country. Television may make my life look extraordinary, but to me, it's just my life.
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